To Be Like Clay

Paul says, "I have learned to be content...."
No, no I haven't.  Look at all the trials Paul went through to be at the point where he said that.  Oh, I do not want to be like Paul.  The end result was amazing and beautiful.  But why can't I find contentment in all things right now- without the pruning... without the sifting... without the tears...?  
And even as I say this my head is spinning.  I want to learn to be content right now.  But the motive is wrong.   I want this so that I can get back to where I want to be.  In circles I run.... over and over again.  Where is the finish line?

Psalm 51:16-17
"You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise."

Mmmm..... I am starting to break, Lord.    I am not complete yet, but it feels good to be accomplishing something.  I know you want to use me Father.  I know my life is not something that can be used fully yet.  What do you have for me?  Please show me.  I want to be like wet clay; easily molded, shaped just right.  There are days I want you to speed up the process.  But then I know I will only break and you will have to build me up again.  Chisel away what needs to be taken off.  Keep me centered on you.  Your timing it best.  You are never early and never late.  Please help me to find contentment in your timing, contentment in current circumstances, contentment  in your will.  With contentment I shall find joy.  I want your joy Lord!  I can have joy because I'm saved and going to heaven.  I know this.  Please help it to be deep in my heart.  For what more do I need?  My home is not of this earth.  My citizenship is in heaven.  Keep me heavenly minded.