The Power of Words

Proverbs 19:11  "A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense."

Ephesian 4:32  "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you."

Proverbs 15:1  "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

Proverbs 10:19  "When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise."


James 3:9  "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, which have been made in God's likeness."

Matthew 12:34  "...out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks."


     The tongue is a tool.  We can use it to lift others up, OR we can use it to tear them down.  When a person is angry, words tend to come easily.  The sad part is, it usually reveals what the heart holds inside - and often times it isn't pretty.  There is no good thing in me except that which is of the Lord.  The sin nature is strong.
     The people that are closest to us tend to get the brunt of our words - good AND bad.  As a Christian the overflow of our heart should be of praise and uplifting, always pointing to the Father.  As a mom I know it can be so difficult to not spat words of anger at my children when I'm upset.  I've often heard parents count to three for their children in order to give them a warning that they need to stop whatever they're doing.  I would propose that parents need to count to three for themselves.... or to ten or twenty for that matter.  Children will mimic what they see.  If you wonder why your child yells when upset about something you are doing, examine yourself and how you (and the child's other parent) react to the child's disobedience.  I began to see my 4-year old responding to me in ways that I wasn't exactly pleased with.  Let's just say my husband gently pointed out where he picked it them up.
     The same is true with the way I treat others.  My child sees and hears the way I speak to others and about others - even when I don't think he's paying attention.  My husband and I are big on respect.  We talk to our little boy about this quite often.  There have been a couple of instances when he has said something that made us want to crawl into a box.  We realized that my husband's seemingly harmless sarcasm and joking was not understood by our 4-year old and was in return said by him in a demeaning and disrespectful way to another person.  Joking can be okay when it is done correctly, but it can be so harmful when said out of place.  A good rule:  If you wouldn't say it to their face, don't say it at all.  I will note though, children have a way of taking even good joking and turning it into something embarrassing.
    Finally, I want my children to see that God is a forgiving God.  He is a God of compassion, grace, and mercy.  We must exemplify these qualities in our own lives if we want our children to understand how we are to be as Jesus is.  I've learned that when I do speak angry words to my boys, they need to hear me say that I'm sorry.  When I make a bad decision, they need to hear me say I'm sorry.  My husband and I are always telling our oldest boy that he needs to say sorry when he does something wrong.  We need to be the example of that.  What a disaster if our children grow up thinking that Daddy and Mommy never do anything wrong or even if we do we don't have to say that we're sorry.  What kind of man doesn't apologize?  We need to show him what true humility is and what true forgiveness and love look like.
     One of my favorite quotes is this,

"A friend is one to whom you can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike.  Knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away." ~Anonymous